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foiled and frustrated

A quick update from Utah:

Firstly, this trip has been the pits. Lots of arguments with my mom, a lot of bruised egos. Yes, there have been positive moments, but for the remainder of the trip I’m biting my tongue so I don’t fan the flames that ignite when we argue. Our personalities are similar, and right now, she has a hard time separating the adult I am from the child she raised.

Work I’ve wanted (and needed) to do? Only partially done. Nerves? Frayed. Patience? Gone, just gone.


I rode last weekend, but it wasn’t great. On Saturday, I crashed 2.5 miles into my afternoon training ride, which caused a great deal of road rash on my left side, some deep contusions in my pectoral and iliac crest regions, and gave my weak shoulder a really painful whack.

It also broke my saddle and tore up my brake lever hoods, which are things that can be repaired (and I was due for a new saddle, in all fairness), but are a drag, all the same.

My friends rode a flat-to-rolling metric century with me the next day (I’m stubborn – what can I say?), and that was good riding, if not good training for the upcoming Mountains of Misery event. I was sore, but the ride was good for allowing me to keep moving – and luckily my backup bike (the Jamis) was ready to go.

Wednesday evening had me ride the “Downtown Breakaway,” and I was definitely slower than normal, with less punch up the short, steep hills we ride. I stopped to help a rider who broke a spoke, which had me riding a bit behind the group with Mark. It was great riding, from a social sense, but wasn’t the best training for me.

And now I’m in Utah. I took off Tuesday (redeye flight back to DC tonight), hoping to get in a ride on Skyline Drive in the afternoon. The only problem? It’s going to rain all day, and Skyline Drive isn’t fun (or, frankly, that safe) in the rain. So I’m resigned to some bike maintenance and… well, some kind of workout to keep me moving (and no, I don’t ride an indoor trainer – a task I find somewhat pointless and non-motivating).

So I will ride this coming weekend, weather permitting (and possibly in spite of the weather if there are scattered showers). None of the official Pedalers rides sound that inviting, so I’ll need to figure out what to do.

Do I sound crabby? I am crabby. I can’t help it, as this trip has made me very, very frustrated with almost every aspect of my life.


these wheels keep spinning around…


my 30s: a look back


  1. Joan Ogden

    Hang in there. Parent child relationship is always tricky — especially when the child has to take the parent’s role and vice versa. This too will pass, and you will look back and miss it. Really! I know it is hard to “enjoy” right now, but mothers would not be such trials if they did not so love their children.

  2. Maxine

    Be of good cheer. You are alive and healthy and as someone whose mom died in their arms at the age of 10, at least your mom got to finish raising you (and she did a pretty good job) and you get to show her what a great adult you turned out to be. You are an amazing cyclist and a day or two without spinning will not kill you. I don’t blame you for being grumpy. Go ahead and grump. Then just like you did when you crashed, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go hug your mom. By the way, as someone who still rides the Pedalers C rides, I envy your stamina. Maybe one day… Hang in there Rudy. You are admirable. Don’t forget it.

  3. Carol

    Rudi – I share your pain regarding your mother (and the crash too). I just sent mine back to Florida after her visit to see new great-grand babies. She has seriously diminished capabilites, both physical and mental, and refuses to acknowledge in any constructive way. Hang in there – you have lots of company.

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